by Maegan Lynne Moore
Rating: ★ 1/2
Version Read - Kindle
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An embarrassing run-in leaves her wanting more.
Ella Scott, ready for a change and the chance to escape family tragedy, heads to familiar Del Mar, California, after her college graduation.
No one could prepare her for what she’d find.
After starting her new job as a high school teacher, a scary encounter with some local thugs and a co-worker’s unwanted advances and attention send Ella into the arms of local bar owner Ryder Wilde. But Ryder comes with his own complications. As president of his motorcycle club, Mayhem, Ryder must choose between his biker family’s plans and whatever chance of a future he has with Ella.
If you’ve read any of my previous reviews, you know that I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to indie authors, especially when it comes to their first published book. I can put up with a lot, as in run on sentences, grammatical errors, lack of scene dividers, etc. The reason being is that the author can always have it (re)edited and release an updated copy to do away with any errors that happen to be distracting.
With that being said, let’s get to this debut book from a new indie author. I love stories about motorcycle guys and their ladies; it’s a new thing for me. So when this book came up I got a copy hoping for the best after reading the teaser available on Amazon. While reading this book, I posted this on Facebook – “That moment you realize you’re reading a book in hopes that it will get better. You know that it won’t but are too stubborn to admit it, so read all the way to the end and then get mad at yourself for wasting your own time when you knew better.” While it wasn’t that extreme I would have to say that there was some major disappointment.
I will try to use as little spoilers as possible and they will be vague, but it will be somewhat necessary as I point out my issues with the story. From the beginning, the writing seemed promising. A young woman, named Ella, who has graduated college and wants to strike out on her own in a different town on a different coast seemed like a good lead in. She has a flash back to her last visit and we meet Ryder. That’s right the main man in the book’s name is Ryder Wilde, I personally hated this because it ranked on the cheesy scale of bad names for a biker. Honestly from mid-chapter 2 the book written wise goes downhill and can’t seem to pick itself back up.
First there seems to be no reason to why these two are attracted to each other. They literally meet once for five minutes, then again one year later. After her first day on her own and saying how much she likes her apartment, she spends the night with him only to basically moved in with him on the second day. Ella never spends one night in her apartment. There is no reason for them to be together other than sexual attraction, literally. Only in one part of the book do they find they share a similar tragedy in their life, but basically it was two paragraphs long and then done. There is no building on the character of the characters only how weak and unable to take care of herself Ella is and how much Ryder seems to be able to drop anything and everything to constantly baby her. How she was going to try and survive on her own is beyond this reader. Although the author tried a couple of times to redeem her and show her “tough” side, it came off as a desperate attempt to try to negate the crybaby that Ella was. Even though it was told in her perspective, she came off as weak, with really no redeeming qualities. Again her character was completely underdeveloped.
On to Ryder. Badass leader of West Coast Biker Club? Ummmm I’m thinking NO. Besides the author’s attempt to make him sound like a tough, alpha, macho badass, he mostly came off as a whipped man who had anger control issues. There were times when I would read a line that he said and go “uh no”. An example “ ….As sexy as they look on you, they block my access. They are the enemy, and the enemy must be destroyed.” Besides having that small conversation ripped from the pages of “The Mighty Storm” does the end of the sentence sound anything like a badass biker would say? This isn’t the only instance where the book takes from other books in a subtle way, but I didn’t note them specifically, more that I noticed and shook my head. (Take note of where Ryder lives. Sounds a bit like Kristen Ashley’s Tack’s house.) Ryder seems to be to drop everything in the blink of an eye just to rescue, comfort or be with Ella in general. He goes from trying to be super, dirty talking sexy, to bad ass biker to sweet, but unfortunately falls short. (Again she refers to him in all these different personas which is a part of another Ashley book.) He comes off as sporadic and all over the place, especially in the last portion of the book. This would probably have to do with his underdevelopment, as well as any insight to his behavior. Surprisingly though the epilogue in the end written from his point of view was probably one of the better written chapters of the book.
The book jumped all over the place, there was no consistent flow or reason for the story really (unless you can count all the ways that Ryder and Ella have sex.) There are too many pop culture references and things that don’t fit or add up at all in the “small town” this takes place in. It seemed as if Ms. Moore was trying to throw in every scenario or fantasy that every woman on the Earth may have, from wall sex to showing up in nothing but a trench coat. The fight scene between an antagonist and the heroine was so outlandishly out of character and improbable it was almost too much. I can’t say more without a spoiler. Ella and Ryder fight and within four paragraphs all misunderstandings are laid out and resolved so easily you almost wondered why they bothered in the first place. Not that I’m a fan of strife, but simply saying x, y, and z doesn’t just make the feelings about the situation go away in my opinion. The main points in the stories, where one is actually well done and had potential even though I figured out who the stalker was, could possibly throw readers in a good way. On the other had the “problems” with the club could have been brought more in to the light in perhaps book 2 where one of the main characters from this book will be the lead in the next. It was a good storyline that was completely underdeveloped and could have been so much more.
I wish I could say that I liked this book more. The only saving grace it seemed to have been the two side characters of Payton and Diesel (which are the leads in the next book). Payton made crack up more than once. I’ve NEVER, EVER have given out one star, but this time I think I’m going to have to. I’ll add a half on for potential. But I wouldn’t read this book again, and more than likely wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. My advice to the author is to take away the $2.99 price tag on Amazon and lower it to $0.00 for a while to build up some fans and possibly take criticisms to correct her errors with the story or have a very good editor help her out with the grammar, flow and voice of the story. Also to be careful as this story reads more of a fan-fiction an actual book. The author has potential, but needs to find her own voice and not one of Kristen Ashley (who she mentions in the book) or any other popular book at this time.
1 1/2 Stars
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